Itachi is a True Genius!
by Daastan Go
Summary: The hero, Itachi, we didn't need, nor deserve!
1. Itachi is a True Genius!

**Itachi is a True Genius!**

**Disclaimer**: Naruto is Kishimoto's property; and as this isn't a story, I'm not sure why a disclaimer should even be made.

**Rating**: Morbid Content, Language, and Humour (my kind).

**Part I**: **Made-up Justifications Regarding Itachi's Characterisation!**

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First, let me start by saying that this, perhaps, is a very volatile topic that is sure to cause controversy due to the classically dreadful Itachi fanboy syndrome or **IFBS** (you can swap F for W, if you can guess what 'W' stands for) for short.

I, personally, always thought Itachi to be severely lacking in all departments: characterisation, itty-bitty wisdom (he doesn't possess any), and logic; and as much as I respect Kishimoto, Itachi's, probably, a true highlight of his narrative's short-comings. His character makes no sense. None.

Let's briefly look at few things in this regard:

**Heroism and Self-sacrifice**: Many concepts surrounding his "heroism" are morally misguided, simplistic, extreme, and fairly ludicrous; however, the narrative relentlessly shows him in a heroic light and tends to destroy the ambiguous morality in the series.

I think most of his wankers are unaware what this phrase entails. He sacrificed other people's lives, not his own. He took other people's lives, including children, for his own ideals and beliefs. What did he sacrifice of himself? Nothing that I can recall. Tears? Some other leaky-anus syndrome? I can't find it in the manga.

The narrative takes an awful lot of time in explaining to us that he had to leave Konoha, become a criminal, and lead a miserable life ever since that fateful night. He was an ANBU Captain before the massacre ever took place—a career as an undercover who spies on enemies would've been highly likely for him even if the massacre never happened. He's a professional assassin, so he's not going to join, say, the Naruto Red-Cross Committee and do something meaningful in his (pathetic) life in the first place.

**Greater good**: The idea that "greater number equals greater good" is pseudo-intellectual dreck. (Nietzsche's Nihilism isn't about what an average IFBS sufferer thinks it's about; read it with both eyes open and your Seinen-anime-marathon tab closed!) It utterly disregards minority's rights. Kishimoto used the "there'd be a civil war and other villages would attack them" excuse to justify Itachi's position, in a way. (Though I'd argue that he did present the other side of the argument, as well.)

He tried to justify the genocide with one of the possible eventualities in the wake of a failed coup—such an outcome was shown to never materialise in any situation. The ethos of heroism are about saving the ones you can, not playing God and deciding who should be killed so that others can live. Heroism isn't about the ability to count and decide which group holds the greater number. Heroism isn't about preemptively killing everyone based on personal speculations that hinge upon possible bad consequences of actions or crimes, which were yet to be committed. This is crazier than minority report.

Even if I do go along with this for a moment, Konoha was absolutely obliterated thrice, with its leaders dead twice. No one attacked. It would've been fairly easy for any village to take advantage of the situation and attack Konoha when, canonically, Akatsuki were just hired-hands for various villages to commit vile acts of terrorism, massacres, genocides (Obito knew Danzō, as evidenced by their interaction right at the beginning of Danzō and Sasuke's decisive battle), random incursions, killing of hard-liners and dissidents, so on and so forth. (Orochimaru had left Akatsuki when he attacked Konoha with the aid of Rasa, the previous KazeKage!)

Why didn't it happen? Well, treaties were in place. Ae was hoarding Jutsus, and a treaty was in place in the wake of the whole "Hinata's kidnapping debacle"; Sand was dealing with Shukaku's rampages, following which Rasa decided to take Gaara's life; Mist was embroiled in the Bloody Mist chaos, Obito's doing; etc. See where I'm going with this? So, even under this lens, the whole thing just falls apart!

**Patriotism as heroism**: Itachi lives by the philosophy of "Will of Fire" that demands absolute loyalty, no questions asked. Itachi once said, "as Itachi Uchiha of the Hidden Leaf, I will be able to save my homeland once more," when he defeated Kabuto and, "the village does have its dark-side and its inconsistencies, but I'm still the Leaf's Itachi Uchiha," when the matter of the Uchiha massacre was brought up by Naruto. He didn't care if Kabuto was threatening the ninja world on a worldwide scale, nor did he care about the social repercussions of the complete eradication of a race and the precedent it sets in the light of "absolutes" of radical political philosophies: he was just concerned with _his_ village. He only cared about Konoha because that's his homeland. He saw the village's collective interest as the only thing worth protecting and fighting for. That's not heroism—that's just radial Jingoism.

**Mistaking forced peace and oppression for pacifism**: The narrative tried to portray Itachi as a sensitive and adorable pacifist who didn't know any better. In truth, he's not a pacifist as he believed in preemptive killing to maintain stability. He's a "peace at all costs" radical. Itachi is no different from Danzō. Like Itachi, Danzō believed that the way to achieve peace was to kill everyone who might become a threat to the government due to dissatisfaction with their policies. For him, policy changing and flexible governance weren't the solutions to political matters, massacres and genocides were. Even children had to be killed as they might resent the government for killing their parents (how dare they!): for example, Nagato and Sasuke. This isn't pacifism; this is an active purging of dissidents and rebels and forced peace maintained through violence and oppression. That's how fascist regimes operate as they rely on violence and fear to silence people into submission, compliance, and obedience.

Another thing I keep seeing in this regard is that the other clans would've sided with Konoha in the wake of the coup allegations. Would they have? Why would the clans side with Konoha, a regime that chooses genocide right off the bat to deal with matters of dissidents, power-imbalances in the ruling sphere, and clan-isolation (when a simple solution is to grant a founding-clan a place in politics and decision-making—hardly an unreasonable claim under the lens of Treaty Politics)? Today, it's one clan; tomorrow, it'll be another clan's turn if they put a _toe_ out of line. (Would the Branch Hyūga family allow Konoha its lofty ideals of peace when they already live as slaves?) Food for thought. Trust me, an average fan might be blinded by the pearls from Itachi's fecundating, narrative-permeating organ, but most sane folks aren't _this_ stupid.

**Intelligence and Wisdom**: This is a good one! I've seen this guy being masturbated to till wanker's doom doesn't become an average reader's fate; but, truth be told, his canon self is nothing like his fans would have you believe! How shocking, I know! His supposedly positive personal qualities like intelligence and wisdom are absolutely awful in terms of penning. He's not wise; in fact, his views of the world and ideals are simplistic and extreme; and the narrative just adores turning into a self-actualizing show of monkeys to elaborate on his . . . justifications that remain firmly embedded inside the deep reaches of his hindquarters.

I'm led to believe, through this stupid fandom's grandiose wank-a-thon, that Itachi was just out-of-this-world smart. Let's look at a few of his "smart" choices:

1) He asked Sasuke to kill his best friend. Now, you can argue that Naruto wasn't in the picture when he originally stated that; however, he reiterated the exact same things to Sasuke when he beat him into a coma, with a nice seasoning of the sights and sounds of Uchiha clan's genocide to boot. What a selfless guy! Sasuke didn't know what Naruto was, but this guy did! He always did!

Imagine that, had Sasuke gone through with this, he would've committed "High Treason" as the Seal on Naruto's designed to kill the Tailed-Beast, too; so Konoha loses two of its most valuable assets, and Sasuke gets this nice bulls-eye on his tight-arse forever! He's never getting pardoned for this. Ever.

Naruto actually deflected the attack, which Sasuke had aimed at his heart whilst he was under the severe influence of the Cursed Seal (CS), at the last second. Had the attack landed, Naruto would've died as we know from Kabuto's incident (when he damaged Naruto's chakra-network-carrying tissues that surrounded his heart) that Kurama can't heal that (Tsunade healed him back then). Naruto survived solely because of sheer dumb-luck: Sasuke's blow didn't land where it was supposed to!

"But he was doing what was the bestest, goodest, cutest thing for Sasuke. Wish I had a bro like him who stuck his cooler-than-ice sword inside my mum and dad's stuck-up arses, too! Best bro for life!" said one deranged wanker with stage-third IFBS.

2) He was fully aware of the "othering" techniques used by Tobirama and his leftover crew that ran the village. Ian Haney-Lopez calls them the "dog whistle". They call the Uchiha "The Cursed Clan", "A Clan Affected by Evil", "Clan with a Curse of Hatred", and "a Power-Hungry Clan". All of these, by the way, are rumours. Tobirama didn't believe in the "cursed clan" accusations for a **fact** because he had no scientific evidence to back them up; and these aren't my words, but his own. Even Orochimaru disagreed with these methods to corner the Uchiha clan. Imagine a heinous criminal like Orochimaru disagreeing with your political methodology!

Itachi fully endorsed Exclusion and Dehumanization. In fact, Uchiha clan's movement from the village to the outskirts began in Tobirama's era, and it was completed in Hiruzen's era. When the "population movement" was completed, the Uchiha were _literally_ pushed to the outskirts of the village, and here's the real kicker: almost all of this happened **before** the Nine-Tails attack ever happened!

Population movement's a war-crime as it's always paved the way for pogrom and genocide, so the Uchiha clan were well within their right to openly revolt, let alone covertly over-throw the regime through a coup. If you recall Madara's conversation with Hashirma, he predicted that his clan will be massacred if Tobirama ever took charge. Tobirama also abolished democracy after the first election, so nothing less can be expected from him.

Furthermore, what was done to the Uchiha falls under the first stages of genocide: classification, symbolization, dehumanization, and even organization as Itachi was made to be the complicit criminal in the whole situation when, according to Hiruzen himself, everything, literally everything, was left in Itachi's hands! Ultimately, it was Itachi's decision to go along with the plan, or not!

Still more, Leaf was formed on the basis of a treaty that had its roots in "equality". No individual, Tobirama or anyone else, had the moral, ethical, or legal right to go behind the agreed upon precepts of the treaty and remove the clan from the power-structure when it wasn't a part of the agreed upon "terms and conditions" of the treaty itself.

Now, I'm aware that IFBS is a terrible thing, but that's really not how treaties work; and why did I type all of that? Well, Itachi was the agent from Fugaku's side, as well. He was involved in the missions with his father, along with the secret meetings (explicitly stated in the manga), so he was well-aware of the clan's planning in regard to attacking the top echelon. He also partnered up with Obito (whom he thought to be Madara who was involved in causing the original affair) to massacre the whole clan.

So, let me get this straight, he was well-aware of the fact that the Uchiha didn't have a hand in Kurama's attack on the village (this is the _sole_ reason why the coup was even planned that the clan had been unjustly implicated of the crime they didn't commit), and he also partnered up with a man who was directly involved in Kurama's attack. Why did he not tell the council of these things? Why didn't he just inform his father of the fact that the coup's cover was blown and that the council was looking at a lethal response to any transgression from the clan, so it wasn't going to work any longer? That alone would've averted the coup indefinitely. "So smart! Wisdom of a Hokage's anus at the age of seven, yo!"

3) Shisui gave Itachi his KA eye, but Itachi didn't do anything of value with it.

4) What were his plans to stop Orochimaru from taking over Sasuke's body, since he himself told Sasuke that he was weak and useless, and thus, Sasuke leaving the village was inevitable, anyway? What were his plans if Orochimaru **did** take over Sasuke's body? None that I can recall!

5) Sasuke tried to kill Naruto at the hideout meeting, as well. Orochimaru stopped him. (Keep that in mind that Sasuke didn't know what a Jinchuriki was till **after** Itachi's death.) Why didn't he do anything about this? He's the reason why Sasuke chose all of these paths in the first place, and he's comically idealised for being so far-sighted and smart! (Are you wankers _fucking_ kidding me? Did you read the manga upside down? Is basic elementary-school-level reading-comprehension too damned hard? By God!)

6) Why didn't he know about Obito's Kamui and its Intangibility variation (in ability) when he spent seven years with him? If he did know that Kamui ability, why didn't he know about Izanagi when he knew about Izanami (both of these are forbidden Uchiha Kin-Jutsus)? It was one or the other technique which Obito used to escape Amaterasu (the Data-book creates mystique in this regard and doesn't state which one Obito used to escape). The funny thing is that he **did** know about Izanagi. He told Sasuke as much before their battle with Kabuto: He praised Sasuke that he was surprised that he survived!

No matter which way you slice it, his use of planted-Amaterasu is . . . chimp-on-acid stupid. It makes no sense both ways; but this was the best he could come up with, apparently. Under these conditions, Obito's escape was inevitable! The best solution would've been to plant the crow into Sasuke, not Naruto. That way, Obito's killed with a different KA command, and everything's good in the world or whatever this lout thought.

7) Why did he decide to leave a crow with KA's command inside Naruto—his supposed fail-safe plan for Sasuke? What were the odds of Naruto getting killed along the way? Pretty high, actually, as Naruto solely survived because of his narrative protections (for some inexplicable reasons, Naruto was standing outside the fully formed Chibaku Tensai [CT] when Minato's chakra suppressed Kurama, for fuck's sake; and Nagato, magically, didn't decide to make CT bigger); otherwise, Nagato possessed enough chakra to bring everyone back to life. He could've just used Attraction Force and Human Path to end Naruto's life.

Seriously, why? He didn't know Naruto was on Akatsuki's hit-list? Of course he did! He failed, anyway, which shows how poor his plan was as _anything_ could've happened given the state of affairs at the start of Part II.

**Honourable Mentions **(yeah, I've got still more):

\- Starts talking smack about the clan in front of his father when he's supposed to be undercover. I get that his "Meme-Solo-King side" was at an all-time high at that moment, but good God! What a fucking moron!

\- Tells Kisame to make two Jōnins disappear (exact words in the VIZ translation). Gai arrives just in the nick of time. Gai was nowhere in sight at that moment, so don't even bother. Itachi isn't a Sensor.

\- Does practically nothing to thwart the assimilation of Bijūs. In fact, actively participates in it.

\- Do you remember the "invaluable" Intelligence Reports he sent to Konoha during the seven-year period in which he worked for Akatsuki? Yeah, me neither. (Don't even try and bring up Jiraiya; that lout got murdered because of poor Intel; he didn't even know that Nagato ended the "civil war" that intimately concerned Konoha and Hanzō.)

\- " . . . but now I think that perhaps **you** could've changed father and mother, and the rest of the Uchiha . . . with me who **failed** . . . " Dude thinks that a 7-year-old child would've averted a coup, certainly not all the options he'd got at his disposal! It's as if the narrative gave this guy a shovel, and he just kept . . . digging new lows every single time he appeared on the panels! Good God!

I can add more, but do I even need to? Dude's a baboon!

**Itachi's deep (cartoon) philosophies on human will . . . and stuff**: He once tried to forcibly Genjutsu Sasuke into being loyal to Konoha. He just couldn't deal with the high-brow tragedy that not everyone enjoyed suckling on Konoha's proverbial cock and pressing kisses to its corpulent arse; he either killed people who went against "Will of Fire" or he tried to brainwash them into becoming "Will of Fire" chanting pricks like himself.

He doesn't even respect truths, government transparency, or clan history. He once begged Naruto not to let the truths about the massacre come out into the open. He thought superficial "reputation" was more important than truth and justice. Have you ever heard of justice, morality, and ethics thrown into the same sentences like the ones from this lout's wankers that talk about perpetrators of genocide pushing the truths of genocide under the rug? No one bar the shit-heads from Itachi's fangirls' club has. It's got the strangest lingo that defies reason, I swear it.

Man, Kishimoto tried _**really** _hard to make this loopy thumb-sucker look intelligent and humble, but Itachi-Sama-Chan-Kun-Dono's "much-o awesome-o" "es-pah-shal" genius was a wee-bit hard to swallow. Let's face it, dude's a fucking buffoon and he's arrogant, too (not a good combination). He had the audacity to decide whether the truth behind the Uchiha Massacre should come out or not when he was one of the perpetrators of the massacre; yet he, of all the people, considered that he had the _**right** _to sweep the truth under the rug! I'm not even going to touch upon the key-chain accessory Buddha-Naruto's viewpoint on Will of Fire and genocides, but . . . you know what I mean!

Even in the end, he had nothing bright to say: " . . . but now I think that perhaps **you** could've changed father and mother, and the rest of the Uchiha . . . with me who **failed** . . . " Look at this guy, admitting that he's a failure, but slipping in that tacit self-masturbation along the way: "Uchiha needed to change, fam—not me!"

Some people might argue and say that all Uchiha characters are a bunch of mentally unstable nut-jobs, but that's canonically incorrect as Black Zetsu explained that both clans fought each other for power (and that's when Kaguya's holding Sasuke and Naruto hostage); and since he's as old as Kaguya, his view-point is objective and trumps over all; Hashirama told his father that Senju Clan being the "clan of love" was a joke as they were just as war-hungry as the Uchiha; Tobirama's elaborate rumour mill and that "I've got a black-friend (Uchiha-friend), too, so I'm not like that" racist tirade thingy was a paper-thin excuse because it's used by literally every single racist on the planet ("I've got a so-and-so friend from the said race, so I'm not racist!"); etc.

I sincerely, beyond a shadow of a doubt, believe that Itachi was the **only** Uchiha character in this series who was legitimately mental! Yet everyone managed to trip over themselves to suck on the scum he left trailing in his wake. His own father decided to die like cattle in lieu of fighting back: "you're so gentle," he whispered as he took Itachi's sword like a **_true_ **man!

Itachi, comically, believed everything he did was right, even though he said that he was a failure; but "wink-wink!" Sasuke and everyone else called him Solo-King every time to keep the humble-brag going. Sasuke wasn't insane because he literally said, "I don't care if you people think I'm a brat—an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth." He didn't care, but, at least, he wasn't deluded to the point where he thought he was a righteous hero like his brother. He was self-aware; Itachi wasn't! Where's this cartoon-messiah's self-awareness? Can someone find it for me on this oaf's design? Kishimoto was on that serious kush when he wrote this bell-end!

**Such a or what a sad life**: Yes, I don't understand this. What's so sad about Itachi's life? Is it that he shed three tears whilst he butchered his parents? Imagine the horror, the screaming and crying, when he butchered the Uchiha children in front of their parents in cold blood. Look at those elderly arseholes who sold crackers, which poor Itachi (the prettiest and tragic-est guy ever!, according to one IFBS suffering twat) had to cut down! Imagine the mothers shielding their small children (Danzō outright states that the clan had "innocent / unknowing" children), begging him to spare their lives whilst he butchered them, anyway. The nerve of the Uchiha for dying on his blade and causing him mental trauma, or something! But I guess he had a pug-faced little girl-friend (canonically incorrect as he had more than one lover at the time of the massacre—Viz translation), so all is cool, projecting and self-inserting female-wankers and all that jazz.

It's like that one Bruce McGruff cigar-smoking thug who pulls out a random bystander's eye-balls through his arsehole; but he sheds a single big fat tear at the end to show us that he _truly_ cares!

God, if there's anything worse than the ill-horrendously conceived and manically obsessed self-inserting Sakura-loving twats (replace her with Naruto, and it's the same story) that infest this fandom like insidiously numerous gutter rats, it's the female (-Incel) Itachi wankers who're Itachi x Sakura (ItaSaku for the cutesy tone; just try pronouncing that out-loud in public, and, I swear it, it'll make you look like a cunt!) fans, too! They also like KakaSaku (try pronouncing this one, too!) and MadaSaku (good grief!), as well! I'm shocked! Predictable in their self-inserting antics, aren't they? Oh, and they, somehow, loathe Sasuke but absolutely adore (!) a man who committed genocide and killed defenceless women and children by his own hands; a man who stood by an apartheid, genocidal, pogrom-committing, etc., governmental institution (which has killed innocent men, women, and children in spades [like in Rain as Nagato stated], but he's such a good guy, apparently, because he took Sakura's side for her OTP! and stopped her from turning into a roasted side-piece in the lava!); and a man who chose to plunge the whole world into a full-on acid-trip till the population was a pubic-hair breadth away from having its genitals loosened through the enjoyments it received from the funky dreams, endlessly! (He also unceremoniously shoved a dangerously thick rod—no pun intended—up her cunt, from which her fangirls derived vicarious and wet pleasures [_aah-ooh_, that could be me!], and tossed her aside like the most useless piece of refuse and never bothered to give her even a passing second glance for the entirety of canon manga; but, apparently, he'd have loved her so very much if the circumstances were "_different_" [ha-ha, what?!]! Let's stop pretending that, like Naruto-wankers' most lofty and favourite Fan-Fiction Harem-theme, this is anything _**but **_pathetic, virtue-plagued, desperate, and/or sexual-frustration-fueled self-inserting!)

(They're, not so shockingly, white feminists, too, who speak about "women rights", yet they adore men who butcher women in the name of state, as long as "Queen" [white trailer-trash's self-insert] is kept satisfied and status quo is maintained, in which the oppressed never find justice; they should just shut the fuck up and bear it! Splendid! How dare Sasuke and Nagato want to show Konoha the same courtesy it's been doling out to oppressed groups since its creation?! Poor white Feminists' self-insert and her tears. Won't someone think of Sakura and her tears regarding her lost OTP and potential OTP's? Sexism! Misogyny! Toxic Masculinity! These women "love" playing this empty and hilarious game of "women rights"! Fuck the rest of the women Konoha and its supporters have relentlessly butchered to maintain status-quo. They had it coming, fam! If these blithering buffoons truly cared about women rights [and not their thinly-veiled self-insert's position in the cock-pecking vaginal-order], they'd, at least, find Itachi and Kakashi utterly repulsive! Yet here we are!)

That aside, am I supposed to feel sorry for this guy who ended an entire race in front of a small child, tormented him endlessly through the most cruel Genjutsu, and left him to fend for himself? He didn't even stop there as he beat him up and repeated the process one more time to make a good little hero out of him! Sounds a lot like the thugs employed by **Zacapa** **the Butcher** to do away with dissidents, because that's exactly what Itachi's like! He's mine and yours—Solo-King forever!

Keep that in mind that the novels aren't canon (they weren't included in the official time-line released with Boruto: The Movie, and Kishimoto never declared them canon); however, if I do consider them canon, it makes him look even worse: he killed the wife and small child of a coup planner right in front of his eyes, and then proceeded to torment him through a long, long torture session. Speaks volumes about this "selfless" and "great guy"!

[**P.s**: A lot of these points are copied from few internet posts; however, I've added my own take on this, as well.]

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**Part II**:** Danzō wasn't handsy with Solo-King, which broke him (and he killed everyone)! **

**Itachi never beat Sasuke up (don't be _that _Fan-Fiction loving tart!)**

Let me begin this small snippet by stating that the novels are non-canon! Not only do they "contradict" a lot of canonical information, but they were never included with the official timeline released with Boruto: The Movie (a movie and its timeline that have been declared canon by Kishimoto); Kishimoto never declared them canon, as well; also, if you consider these novels canon (in the light of the whole Naruto Project thing), then the Naruto Stage Play is canon, too! A lot of the Boruto anime series plucks material from the "original script" written by Kishimoto for Boruto: The Movie. The novels on the other hand? Not so much.

For instance, Kakashi's novel directly references Blood Prison and that's not canon; Fugaku never had Mangekyō Sharingan (MS); Itachi's, apparently and magically and comically, able to cast a Tsukuyomi powerful enough on his "supposed", and highly obnoxious, girlfriend (even this goes against the manga as he had more than one lover at the time of the massacre—the self-inserting fangirls' tragic tears are quite invaluable) that makes her live out her _entire_ life in _0.000000001/th _of a second—which is fucking mental as Itachi at his peak not only couldn't do much save for repetitions, but he also couldn't "re-create" much of the world inside the illusion!

Here's how the first Tsukuyomi introduction went (mind you, Sasuke's flashback comes later):

Itachi: "In the Tsukuyomi dreamscape, I completely control time, space, and even substance. For the next 72 hours, you'll be continually stabbed over and over again . . . "

Kakashi: "Unh . . . three days in that realm and less than a moment passed in this one . . . "

Kisame: "Hm . . . after all that, the fool's spirit is intact. Meanwhile, you've overused those eyes of yours. You know that's dangerous."

And we immediately see Itachi huffing and puffing and sweating after the deed was done. He was clearly out of breath and at his limit after pushing out **just** three days from less than a moment, which we can safely assume to be a second; so, despite all of this, all he could produce in Tsukuyomi were cheap repetitions of the same act of stabbing against an uninspired backdrop (which is a fairly easy feat compared to the recreation of someone's life down to the very last detail till she died); and that's Itachi at his peak. No one can convince me that that sentimental, and unwittingly caricatural, slop is canonical in any manner because Itachi's never shown to do anything of the sort! Not even close! Three days is _literally_ his limit, because he never could recreate this feat again!

If I count his fight against Sasuke, then even there, he couldn't create any elaborate illusions: the location was the same and so were the parameters. He didn't hold back his Tsukuyomi in any manner as the Databook and Manga confirm Sasuke getting hit by the full blow of the Genjutsu (Zetsu is the best non-Rikudou Sensor in the manga; so I'll gladly take his and the author's words [in the data-book] over a radical Itachi-diehard's ramblings).

Sasuke simply over-came the illusion due to his talent (another fact that's repeated in the Databook and canon); and contrary to the popular belief that Sasuke used his "Cursed Seal" to break free of the illusion . . . well, this is where "basic" elementary-school level comprehension's so essential, because what you see in the illusion isn't happening in the real world: when Sasuke breaks out of Tsukuyomi, he's standing at the **exact** same spot from where he was kicked into the wall; so whatever happened from the point the crows showed up, following their Shuriken-Jutsu exchange, till the "glass-like shattering effect" on the panels never happened in the real world. This includes all the rough-housing Itachi put Sasuke through before this, as well (where he kicked him and threw him aside); all of that, quite literally, is Genjutsu—something that's explicitly stated by Zetsu (who also stated that both of them were successfully casting Genjutsu on each other), even Itachi, and confirmed by the fact that, when the actual fight begins, both of the brothers are at the **exact** same spot from where the whole conversation began!

Zetsu: "The two of them haven't budged at all for the longest time. They're exchanging Genjutsu."

The fight _actually_ begins when Sasuke removes the binding around his forehead and his cloak (which is followed by one more Genjutsu) and exposes the seals on his wrists. Before that, everything is Genjutsu!

(It's tragic that people blame Kishimoto for poor writing, of which he should be occasionally accused, but they can't seem to properly read something as simple as Naruto—a material written by keeping the comprehension level of 12-year-old children in mind.)

Now, why did I type all of this? I did that, because one, I wanted to cover the lower heading and call the people who exaggerate Itachi's middling feats straight-up arseholes; and two, because there's a panel right before the last Genjutsu exchange in which Itachi looks at Sasuke, and we see a very, very blurry image of Sasuke. This is **before** Itachi casts Tsukuyomi. The image we see of Sasuke **after** Itachi casts Tsukuyomi is less blurry! We're actually shown Itachi's eyes recovering a bit and ridding themselves of the extra blurriness.

We also know for a fact that, when Sasuke used Amaterasu (another highly taxing MS ability), he knocked a glass over because he couldn't ascertain its position with respect to his hand-movement—we even see his casting eye hurting! This "faulty" line-of-sight is the sole reason why Raikage/Ae survived Amaterasu: he dodged behind the materialisation of the flame (Amaterasu's initial cast is always a spawn: it materialises wherever the caster's looking). Then . . . how did Itachi manage to extend the Tsukuyomi to such parodical lengths and not suffer "severe" line-of-sight issues immediately, afterwards? We know that he tortured people in Tsukuyomi, including Sasuke, afterwards. Come on! Don't be _that_ Itachi-pillow-suckling wanker!

(Coming back to the novels.)

Furthermore, the novels don't ever incorporate or even bother to reference other novels' events that make each of them isolated from the blank-period, and thus, they offer no continuity whatsoever; so the best way to deal with the novels is to acknowledge the canonical material that's referenced in the manga, Data-book, and the subsequent canonical material and disregard the rest.

And it should be better this way because the novels make Itachi's flimsy character look even worse—if such a feat was even possible, but here we are! The whole "torturing people after murdering their families right in front of them" deal? No biggie.

And, sincerely speaking, I don't ever remember there being any "child molestation" vibes in Itachi's novels. I get that, despite being a well-written character (who isn't as complex as Sasuke and Nagato), Danzō's considered the scum of humanity, and rightly so (albeit he's missing the company of his kooky-but-not-complex fangirl-bait favourite soldier, Itachi; Kakashi, too, but he's like the cheapest and smelliest dog key-chain a leaky wanker wins as a consolidation prize if she [or he] misses the _actual_ Uchiha good stuff in canon; he's second-hand _trash_ in every sense of the word! Whatever he does, someone else does it impossibly better to the point of parody [Raiton, Sharingan, Kamui, etc., you name it!]); but, for the love of Jesus's divine anus, he wasn't an Itachi diddler. No, seriously, he wasn't. Of all the things to show outrage over, _this_ is what people go for?

I get that the radicals of the "Church of Solo-King", where they hang Jesus naked upside down and write "_Solo-King gotcha!_" in blood on his stone-cold arse, have to grab hold of the tiniest of things in order to desperately paint him in the light of innocence; but put the blame where it's required. Itachi did everything of his own violation. No one forced that decision upon him. No matter how many times an Itachi wanker states that, it's wrong, non-canon, and made-up every single time! Yes, Danzō _did_ use Sasuke to manipulate Itachi; but, at the end of the day, Hiruzen left everything in Itachi's hands, and he praised him for finishing the "job perfectly (his exact same words from canon-manga, not mine)"!

Danzō putting a hand on Itachi's shoulder (in a non-canon materiel at that) doesn't mean a thing. It seems to me that people are willing to overlook the fact that Danzō was involved in unforgivable crimes, but being a "supposed" molester, somehow, makes him worse. Well, does it? Let's count the things Danzō was directly involved in:

Exploitation of orphaned children by plucking them directly from the orphanage and using them as he saw fit (he got Kabuto killed through the woman he considered his mother; in his mind, Kabuto never survived), pitting them against each other (in a battle to the death, which was Sai's whole story), and brain-washing them to serve Root; Orochimaru served Root, so he did all sorts of heinous experimentation for Danzō (his arm-Sharingans and Hashirama's cells' boosts being two of them that had a long line of human experiments behind them); you can blame Orochimaru all you want, but he was commissioned by Danzō to do the deeds; eliminating innocent dissidents left and right; killing the original Akatsuki's leader by partnering up with Hanzō; genocide of a racially segregated group; sitting idle whilst people died on the streets of Konoha; so on and so forth.

I've seen people defend _all_ of the above (believe you me, I have), but _this_ is what pushes them over the edge? So exploitation, random killing, and torturing of children is cool, as long as it serves the government and grants the citizens prosperous lives at the expense of abject misery inflicted on others (not unlike most developed/first-world countries, no?); but as soon as someone gets handsy, burn him at the stakes? If that's how his fans think in real life, then not only should they be removed from the social-media set-up (I can't personally remove the scum-suckers from the society, now can I?), but I'm also well within my right to roll up my car-windows when they come near me, grimace, and sweat profusely! Who knows what these fuckers are capable of?! (One extra exclamation point just proves the state of my shock here!)

I've read posts from wankers that call this guy a complex character (he isn't) and bend over backwards to gloss over the abject cruelties of this guy, because it compels them to sugar-coat Itachi's monstrously cruel nature in the same manner. They're almost literally the same people: I see no difference! Itachi did the exact same things Danzō did. He was complicit in their agendas (something he admitted), and he did everything that was asked of him; and to use the logic that he was just "following orders", otherwise, he was innocent is . . . The Nuremberg Defence. This phrase has been used to defend morally bankrupt war-criminals for eons!

Adolf Eichmann: "I cannot recognize the verdict of guilty. . . . It was my misfortune to become entangled in these atrocities. But these misdeeds did not happen according to my wishes. It was not my wish to slay people. . . . Once again I would stress that I am guilty of having been obedient, having subordinated myself to my official duties and the obligations of war service and my oath of allegiance and my oath of office, and in addition, once the war started, there was also martial law. . . . I did not persecute Jews with avidity and passion. That is what the government did. . . . At that time obedience was demanded, just as in the future it will also be demanded of the subordinate."

This might as well be Itachi's words. Danzō's words. What's the difference between the three of them? Is it that the latter "supposedly" tried to grab this former bell-end's bell-end; so he's, somehow, beyond 'redemption' (this fandom's favourite word); but Itachi gets a pass despite being an absolute prick ("but look at his long lashes and pony-tail!" _Fangirl-squeal! "_The most beautiful-est and tragic-est man, ever!" [actual quote from _Kill Your Heroes_])? You can't be serious! Are Danzō's actions before or after this "supposed" occurrence defensible? Are people sincerely of the opinion that mass slaughters, cruelties against innocents, and genocides are justifiable as long as the nation flourishes, and molestation is a greater crime? My goodness! Itachi fangirls might as well be the truest (and I can't believe I'm about to say this word albeit I loathe it) "cartoon edge-lords" in the whole fandom!

I've seen very few people sling dirt at Danzō when it comes to the Uchiha and Sasuke (victims of genocide), Sai and Kabuto (victims of child exploitation), and Nagato and Ame children (victims of war crimes); but I've seen many fans absolutely sympathise with Itachi as if he's this . . . tragic innocent who did no wrong!

Re-evaluate your lives! This ain't the wrist-cutting cartoon-hill of anime-and-manga martyrdom you want to perish on to immortalise your Solo-King adoration, Itachi wankers. I'm speechless . . .

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**Part III**:** Itachi's such a Tragic Character, Sasuke isn't!**

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I hear this masturbatory-fluid soaked statement _all_ the time, and it makes no sense to me! None! Let's do basic mathematics for the time Itachi put Sasuke inside Tsukuyomi. He put Kakashi under Tsukuyomi for 72 hours:

Itachi: "In the Tsukuyomi dreamscape, I completely control time, space, and even substance. For the next 72 hours, you'll be continually stabbed over and over again . . . "

Kakashi: "Unh . . . three days in that realm and less than a moment passed in this one . . . "

Kisame: "Hm . . . after all that, the fool's spirit is intact. Meanwhile, you've overused those eyes of yours. You know that's dangerous."

When Tsukuyomi lasted 72 hours, Kakashi was stabbed hundreds of times; and that was only 1 second in that dimension. Sasuke was put under Tsukuyomi to re-play the traumatic event in a loop, twice!

Itachi: "You're weak . . . "

Sasuke: !?

Itachi: "From now on . . . for 24 hours . . . you'll relive that day . . . "

Therefore, when Sasuke was put under Tsukuyomi, every moment he watched his parents die was equal to 1 second; so he was forced to watch his parents die over a hundred thousand times by Itachi. How many times does it exactly make? 259200 times to be precise.

And if he actually put him inside Genjutsu for 48 hours in real-time, which it does seem like he did, then Sasuke watched his parents die for 259200 years in Tsukuyomi time. As a result, Sasuke slipped into a "life threatening" coma, from which only his resilient genes and Tsunade saved him.

Completely off-topic, but I've got to say: Kakashi's such a lil' whelp for not only succumbing to Orochimaru's "Death Intent" completely (which a 12-year-old Sasuke, a mere child, overcame rather easily by moving his body on his own, stabbing his thigh to introduce pain into his system as a counter to the overwhelming sensation that'd locked his body, and escaping and rescuing that pink-haired and useless tart, as well; Kakashi couldn't move, at all, and _actually_ vomited!) but also falling into a coma from an ordeal that was far less mentally taxing than Sasuke's. It's absolutely ridiculous that a 7-year-old, 12-year-old, and 13-year-old child had far more mental fortitude than a grown man! Kakashi wankers (which include his soccer-mum fans, who also happen to be Kaka-Saku [just say this out-loud—you'll sound absolutely mental!] self-inserting shippers, just like any other self-inserting Sakura x Anything-with-a-cock-and-a-Sharingan shipper) need to pluck their collected noses out of his anus. He ain't all that.

That aside, poor Itachi! What a nice guy! Imagine doing that to a 7-year-old and a 13-year-old child. What an awesome and tragic guy. How dare Sasuke show anger at this treatment—how _dare_ he? Poor Itachi "I stabbed my mum and dad; butchered innocent men, women, and children; made my lil' brother watch utterly wanton content unmatched in its cruelty (canon and beyond) well over hundred thousand times in the name of a fascist government" Uchiha; but fangirls like his cute little anus (and that he's an anus), out of which his entire plot-line was taken, which they adore moulding to drop down on his pud through pink-haired stand-ins, so it's a'right!

Itachi's such a "tragic" character, no? How awful and tragic for him that men, women, and children died on his sword; that he made a small child watch the slaughter well over hundred thousand times that resulted in his coma, during which he could've easily died; that he did that more than once; that he physically brutalized and tortured his own brother, unarmed elderly, women, and children. I'm weeping as I type this! It isn't Sasuke that's tragic after going through hell or the people that got utterly butchered whilst watching their loved ones being put to death, including small children; it's **Zacapa the Butcher's** thug's imitation that's truly the greatest stuff of Sophoclean tragedies! As _Evil with a Relive Term_ so self-indulgently and self-assuredly stated (whilst salivating, with her right hand inside her knickers as you can't type that content with both hands!): "Sakura: ' . . . _because he was one of the most beautiful and tragic men she'd ever seen_ . . . ' (Kill Your Heroes, chapter 42.)"

The lack of self-awareness and self-inserting antics in this single line absolutely hurt one's heart, head, and soul; however, it hurt my head less than it hurt her genitals. And this isn't even a parody: it was said in complete seriousness in this fiction that cruises along on these loony shenanigans. Liking Itachi's character is one thing, supporting his actions and calling him Tragic (ha-ha?!) is another. How far up your own anus must your head be to actually support this guy's actions and call him Tragic? Don't be a complete nutter like her: stop sniffing a discount-prized Itachi underwear that some fat Itachi-cosplayer, who possessed a Sword-Totsuka too thin and short (hence his infatuation with Itachi to over-compensate for his short-comings), ejaculated all-over, during his Itachi's Mangekyō Sharingan's re-acting moments in unbridled excitement, whilst he stood under the roof of a hallowed Comic-Con. Learn from her before it's too late—before you start liking a guy that said this:

"It's not that if you become Hokage everyone will acknowledge you. It's the ones who are acknowledged that can become Hokage."

Christ, this is so _fucking_ stupid! This is yet another nonsensical statement this man ejected out of his anus: you need the approval of _everyone_ to become a political figure! (Why is it that every single time this guy opens his mouth, he hits a new low?) Konoha hasn't practiced democracy since Hashirama's appointment. No, really. Democracy ended when Hashirama appointed Tobirama, and he, in turn, appointed others and abolished democracy (an action through which he controlled the Uchiha's political influence on the village-controlling council, and that's canon); and the cycle continued on. What's this guy on? Did no one give him the damned memo on his own Village's history, a village whose cock he was born suckling?

I like Kishimoto as a writer. I really do. He did great stuff in the manga, but good God, he was tripping big time with Itachi. I don't know which bong he was hitting when he wrote him, but it seems as though it was _good_ stuff; and then he distributed his invaluable stash amongst Itachi wankers, a good-will gesture which unleashed an unending plague of unspeakably horrific, brain-rotting, self-inserting ItaSaku (or Itachi-supporting, along with KakaSaku or Kakashi-supporting) Fan-Fictions, of which _Kill Your Heroes_ is a shining example, dripping thickly with smelly masturbation fluids for everyone to rue over . . .

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	2. He's still a Genius!

**Addition!**

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When Itachi came to warn Danzō that he better not touch his precious little brother, because he'd beat his arse up, he ate dango at the local shop in broad daylight whilst wrapped up in Akatsuki cloak (because he's the smartest, _duh!_) and wept under his Solo straw-hat at the sight of Sasuke, 'cause he loved him—or something. Naturally, Danzō was super terrified of Solo-King, so he went about his daily business of having wet dreams about his Sword Totsuka; however, Itachi was having none of that cock and bull rubbish! To show Danzō how much his Solo-King heart cared for Sasuke, he beat up a child of thirteen, put him under Tsukuyomi for twenty-four hours (just to make sure that he cared _enough!_), and drove him into a coma that nearly killed him, from which only his Uchiha genes saved him! By God! Have you ever heard of anything so fucking genius in your entire life?! Isn't he so fucking "es-pah-shal" and smart?! Oh my Gosh! And everywhere cunt-ish ItaSaku pairing lovers and Itachi's cock-suckers, of which many are status-quo-endorsing-theme lovers and peak Capitalist White Feminists like _Evil is a Relative Term_, ejaculated collectively into their Solo-King pillow, which is half-cushy now with filth from their fat bums and cocks and cunts; but they keep it nice and gooey 'cause it makes them self-insert into Sakura's (or whatever other sow services his cock daily, nightly) place to fuck super forward-thinking Fascist-Regime supporters like Solo-King and feel thrice as woke! _The feels—the feels! I'm not crying!_

To save Sasuke, he placed Sasuke in a coma! That'd show Leaf and Danzō! Can anyone even _think_ of a character this tragic and trillion-dimension-ed and complex?! It's as if he was penned by Tolstoy himself. Why, trying to understand him is like trying to pass an elephant through a sewing needle's eye. You'd require special "galaxy brain" Solo-King mental powers to process this piece of tur_—_munchkin! You see, he's as smart as the self-inserting ItaSaku shippers for he treats her well, and that's _all_ what matters! Who the fuck cares if he shoved his sword up some little girls or boys? Can't you see that he's _pretty?!_ He's got super long lashes, a slack womanly jaw (which is claimed to be super manly by his wankers compared to Sasuke's who's practically a kid and barely seventeen at the end of manga save the last chapter), and a soft ponytail that sways like his imaginary cartoon cock. No body _this_ pretty should have to go through what Itachi did! No _fucking_ body! (A wanker weeps in hysterics!) With a heavy heart, he fucked up every man, woman, and child! Do you even know the kind of burden he fucking faced?! His fans "relate" to murdering psychopaths like him, _O-K?!_ (His shipping female-fans that admire his contributions to and make excuses for his committing a genocide are like those loopy sociopaths that write love letters to serial killers and rapists in prison!)

**Because Canon Itachi wasn't bad enough, you've got Fanon Sakura's-vagina-makes-me-cry (!) Herbivore Itachi!**

Most Fan-Fictions on this lunatic focus on pedestrian-level Itachi-syndrome victim-hood complex psychology (rest of it is well-covered by mundane fluff), which many a female writer have a fucking PHD in. Not even Kishimoto was this well-versed in this side-field of PTSD melodrama of genocide players (in which the perpetrators of heinous crimes are misunderstood, weepy, and mopey hotties of the tight-arse, long-lashes, long pony-tails, and tortured-soul-hottie variety). His coloured wig anime-wanker game for Solo-King Psychology was too low!

Itachi: Uchiha had to change. I did no wrong!

Fangirls: _Hysterical hair-tearing and breast-beating crying!_ "This poor, poor (super hot) tragic guy! Oh My Gosh!" _Screams rising into the sky as they rip off their roomy trousers, brassieres, and shit-smeared knickers in grief!_

**Itachi would beat up Sasuke in the name of vagina (_he just never got the chance to find "true Wub"!_)!**

Last but not least, we've got these Itachi-loving rabid pack of Sakura wankers who ship them together, because he'd totes take interest in her if he ever interacted with her—never mind the fact that she's the only character in the entire manga that he came across but didn't even bother addressing as if she was a complete non-entity (he addressed every other person by name). Why? Who knows. His wankers are as mental as he is; but fucking hell, no, he won't beat up Sasuke in the name of Sakura's vagina—not in a trillion years!

As utterly idiotic as Itachi's character is, he's never putting vagina on the same pedestal as Konoha that he didn't put on the same pedestal as Sasuke's life. He killed all of his lovers—every single one! Yes, he had lovers (plural, not singular, according to VIZ translation), and he killed all of them in the name of the government. What makes a self-inserter's vagina so "es-pha-shal"? It's a mystery to me.

He was under KA's command when Sasuke told him that he'd blow up this Leaf's cock-milk-drinking dervish's Leaf. Kotoamatsukami (KA) is a very powerful Genjutsu. It completely traps the person's mind and rewrites a command over his present convictions or mental state and makes them do its bidding. This was the Genjutsu Itachi had reserved for Sasuke. Mind you, it doesn't fade away as Itachi stated, which is why Kabuto intended to rewrite the Fuda in Itachi's head; he also stated that a command ("protect Konoha") had been "overlaid" the Edo Tensai (ET) command; hence, the reason why it had to be physically rewritten by Kabuto, and which is why he tried to do so repeatedly during his battle with the Uchiha siblings.

Now, this command was active the entire time Itachi was chased by Sasuke; Naruto had already told him of Sasuke's intentions to harm Konoha and Sasuke told Itachi himself that he was going to destroy Konoha, as well. For all intents and purposes, Itachi, despite his convictions, _should_ have struck Sasuke down no matter how much he loved him—just as ET made him do Kabuto's bidding despite his Jingoistic tendencies.

He didn't do anything. Instead, he stated that "... _but I want to impart at least this much truth to you: you don't ever have to forgive me. And no matter what you do from here on out, know this_, _I will love you always_." If the character himself is stating that he's telling the "truth" and will "lie" no longer, then there's no need to flip-flop around this. He's admitted that he values Sasuke's life far more than the zealot in him that craves Konoha's supremacy (Sasuke's free-will or mental stability is a completely different matter, of course, which he doesn't value one bit!). Also, don't look at Danzō's use of KA: it was quite terrible as Sharingan will work best with an Uchiha as they are "_genetically adapted_" to utilise the eyes to their full capacity (Mifune broke through Danzō's KA through a simple interruption in conversation whilst Itachi's use of KA cancelled out ET; and Kabuto kept trying throughout the battle to re-write the ET Fuda inside Itachi's head). That should be the end of that.

His "_always _(continuous, without end, endless in the context as not only is it delivered by a spirit but it's also used in the manner that talks about the unending nature of the emotion)" also matters as it's a statement on "continuous rebirths" that lays it thick on the highest form of "love (aishiteru in Japanese—pinnacle of "ai")" used by him. According to a famous Japanese saying: "_one lifetime for the child; two for the wife; three for the Lord._" Basically, Itachi's talking about endless rebirths to be with Sasuke. Come the fuck on! A vagina of all the things beats this?! Why does this site drip thickly with fucking virgins or thumb-suckling pillocks with fuck-less lives? Open a damned book on Mystic Philosophy (that covers this subject quite extensively), after closing the tab with Solo-King Philosophy quotes for bellends, and stop writing this embarrassing cock-and-bull diddling rubbish, without self-awareness. Itachi isn't real. He isn't going to fuck his wanker_—ever!__—_so his wankers can stop weeping into a fat Itachi cos-player's knickers. It'd only lead to heartache.

Then we have these statements from the Databook IV, too:

"Personality: 性格 弟想い, 自己犠牲的= **Feelings/thoughts of younger brother**, self-sacrifice.

The two of them had a close relationship as siblings in the distant past, (and so) Itachi watches, as he should protect Sasuke (with his existence?), (and) came to keep him away from the harsh truth. However, now as his younger brother became an adult shinobi and was abandoned, his older brother informed Sasuke of everything. Continuously covering up with fiction/fabrications, together with **genuine/true 'Love'**…"

Fangirls: Itachi would beat up Sasuke in the name of Sakura's (a self-insert's) vagina! He'd shove his head so far in that he'd see true light, get cleansed, know truest love!

Itachi already shares true love (true love, at its root, has never been about romantic love) with Sasuke. Sasuke, no one else, was always on his mind. That's canon. He's a loony bellend, but that's a distinctive part of his character; so, no, he's not going to put Sakura's vagina (or any other damned vagina) anywhere near Sasuke. Kindly, stop suggesting that _this_ Itachi's In-Character. He isn't. He isn't going to punish Sasuke for anything, certainly not a weepy twat, if he didn't intend on punishing him for nuking Leaf whilst the damned "protect Konoha" command was active. He didn't care that Sasuke would destroy Konoha, a village for which he murdered his whole clan; but he'd put aside Sasuke for a vagina_—_the same Sasuke for whom he made the aforementioned statements of endless rebirths, for whom he butchered his whole clan, for whom he was willing to sacrifice the whole of Leaf, for whom he chose a (fitting) dog's death riddled with illness that ended in a pre-planned suicide? _Come on!_ (I get it that this site hosts a congregation of virgins or people who get very little sex, but this is . . . _sad; _not everyone's so sickly dependent on this first-world-problem romantic co-dependent relationship; many people world-over don't value romance to this degree; Itachi, as a character, certainly doesn't; love exists in different forms, and one form can be felt more intensely by an individual than other forms.) He's a figment of a self-inserting twat's imagination that comes out of Yomi, fucks Sakura in graveyards, and then they achieve "_spirituality _(that's where an average shipper's knowledge begins and ends: divine cocks and their fated destinations and the karmic sacredness of exchanging bodily fluids, sometimes, urine!)" and Nirvana together, like it's no body's business; and, believe you me, there's a whole one-shot dedicated to this high-end _spiritualism_, dug from a freshly squeezed out cow-dung. (People should read a bit on _Spiritualism_, for a lot of the twats on Fan-Fiction are woefully intellectually bankrupt, and no one's buying this thinly veiled self-insert's melodrama to be mounted by a cartoon.)

I'm not even against pairings or an out-of-character Itachi. It's the frothing-at-the-mouth wankers that take this Fanon as Canon-Gospel and fight tooth-and-nail over it that are truly self-parodical. Also, apparently, he switches over his "_object of obsession_" from Sasuke to Sakura, and suddenly, he's the mature-est man in the whole wide world! Does that make any sense? It doesn't! (Let's stop pretending that an average Sakura wanker isn't cut from the same cloth as an average self-inserting harem-loving Naruto wanker.) There's no need to come up with pointless justifications and Fan-Fictions with a million-trillion, sexually-charged, whole-hand-in-cunt inspired pointless words as to how Itachi would totally fuck a self-insert in her every orifice (and generously empty out his well-accumulated filth) after bullying Sasuke, because he wasn't good to her (Sakura), and make Sasuke see what a "special" woman Sakura is! He won't care who Sasuke bullied. He wouldn't spare a single slow-flying fuck for her (people bullied her forehead, yo!) super-tragic ordeal, or anyone else's from Leaf. (Sasuke could butcher her and the entire Leaf, and Itachi _still_ wouldn't care!) In fact, had Itachi known that Sakura tried to kill Sasuke, he'd have shoved a sword up her cunt, too, with no remorse in this life or life after. (No, really, that's canon!) Repeat after me: Sakura's vagina doesn't register nor make any dastardly wind-farting, odour-sputtering blips on his radar in comparison to Leaf, let alone Sasuke, for whom he was fully willing to destroy the very same village he did everything for, for whom he disregarded a command that cancelled out Edo-Tensai, _for fuck's sake!_ What's she sporting down there, a decent-functioning vagina or an Eldritch Lovecraftian Horror that no man can escape (against which Itachi's cosmic rebirth ideology still wins out, quite comfortably, as he desires to stay within the "Realm of Desire/Rebirth" and not leave and achieve peace in the "Outer Form-less Realm" simply to be reborn with Sasuke endlessly, but it's all joke-y, so it's a'right), because, let's face it, that's what these Fan-Fictions make it seem like? Write it on your fore-head if you don't trust your head!

(As these Fan-Fictions would have you believe, validation, self-worth, stature of female characters utterly hinge upon male characters giving them a good dicking, thereby acknowledging their self-worth, giving them confidence, adding to their existence that's woefully incomplete without rare-breed cocks that should come custom-tailored for lonely pedestrian girls these writers adore projecting on. If it isn't Sasuke, it has to be another Uchiha! If it isn't an Uchiha, and your wanker has reached a soccer-mum's age, it has to be Kakashi. Kishimoto, you _sexist_ pig! Why didn't you make one validate Sakura through his ultra-rare power-over-nine-thousand Uchiha-cock? That'd have ended this whole mess!)

**And he went straight to (Shinto) hell!**

Oh, yes, good ol' cutie-pie Pacifist Solo-King went straight to Yomi after his death according to the Databook IV:

"Aiding the village multiple times, dying his hands in the blood of his fellow brethren, without glory/reputation, on his own terms, (he) left this world. Bearing dishonour/infamy instead, (he) entrusted that wish in death….However, even after he began a journey to the Realm of the Dead, he was not visited by a peace of mind in himself."

"幾度も里を救い、 その手を同胞の血で染め、 英名無きままこの世を去った。汚名を被るも後進に希望を託した死。。。しかし、黄泉に旅立った後ですら、 彼に心の安らぎは訪れなかった。。。"

黄泉 is "Yomi" in Japanese Mythos:

"Izanagi went to the land of the darkness, Yomi-tsu-kuni, the underworld, to seek his wife. When he found her, at the dark entrance of the underworld and shrouded in shadows, he said, "Oh, my beloved spouse, we have not finished making the lands. You must come back!" She backed away and warned Izanagi not to look at her. It was too late. Izanami had already "eaten at the hearth," meaning she had eaten the food of the underworld.

She said, however, that she would ask the gods of Yomi if she could return to earth and said again that Izanagi must not look upon her. But while she was away, he grew impatient and curious. A long time passed. He wanted so strongly to see his wife again that he broke off a tooth from the comb in his hair and used it as a torch. He went into the room where Izanami had gone and saw at once that she was a rotted corpse full of squirming maggots. Izanagi was afraid and fled, but Izanami was angry at his having shamed her. She sent after him the hags of Yomi. Izanagi threw down the vine that held his hair and it bore grapes, which the hags stopped and ate. When they pursued him again, he pulled out the comb from his hair and threw it down.

This time it bore bamboo shoots. Again the hags stopped and ate. Izanagi fled again, waving his sword behind him. He threw three peaches at his pursuers (which by now included the hags, the warriors of Yomi, and eight thunder deities that had formed in Izanami's body) and asked them to save him, which they did. Izanami herself chased after him then, but he escaped and moved a huge rock to block the pass between them. They broke their wedding vows, divorcing. Izanami swore that she would kill 1,000 people a day, and Izanagi swore that he would cause 1,500 births each day, accounting for human mortality and for population increase. Izanami became kami of the world of death. It is not a place of punishment or judgment in Shinto myth, but a place of darkness, decay, and pollution (in the sense of ritual uncleanliness)."

(Note: This is also the place for the Blood-Pool: a place where Izanami ended, who'd become a putrefying mass of ﬂesh, riddled with insects and writhing with worms.)

So a lump of totes hot shit (because a pretty tragic guy like Itachi can't eject out regular stool, without Solo-King's savour to enchant a wanker's loins, now can he? _'Course not!_) like Itachi ended up in the soul-hierarchy gutters? _Fitting!_

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	3. A Cunt's Endurance: The Cute Pacifist!

**A Cunt's Endurance: The Cute Pacifist, Itachi, was manipulated and was a Hero!**

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After their heads have been made bald by cheap shampoos, an infestation of cultivated lice, dandruff, and by prolonged seclusion from sun, Itachi wankers stand smack in the liminal space in-between the tragic worlds of non-functional loins (whose skins are terrifyingly galled by carrying the weights of potent make-up creams, hand-smoothing lotions, and arse-rash-removing ointments to grant them slick surfaces for smoother hand-and-finger-movements; and harsh hands that know not the value in reposes) and intellectual bankruptcy that makes weep their whole pedigree up to the very last stone-age white-wanker that waved around his Confederate flag in a white man's world and its Jingoistic glory: they exist in fucking _mirrored reflections!_

And by fleeing into these two realms, their genitals' adequacy is realised through the sights and sounds of Solo-King who glows godly on their PC-monitors and in their Fan-Fiction's bullshit, of which many concern self-inserting to force Solo-King to grant them mercy and to make him bugger them in their back-channels for increased life pleasures, which are accomplished by a simultaneous insertion of Chinese-imported four-hour-battery-running sex-contraptions purchased at friendly discounts whilst they type away on their keyboards of the love they harbour for Solo-King in their breasts (and every orifice that could accept his well-oiled Totsuka willy).

Amidst his fourth-wall-shattering anus-released fog, they fall in love with his genitals whose wondrous position they cultivate through injecting more cock-and-bull non-canon tales into their circle-jerk-inspiring tales. They fail to realise, minds befuddled by the winds he breaks into Kishimoto's tale to make rotten every page upon which he decides to grace us all with his Solo-King presence, the stupidity deeply contained within his every action; they do not condemn it; no, they deem it necessary to slurp the loosest, deep-russet coloured, too-sloppy dung he spurts out of his hindquarters (which his wankers consume with needy relish): _Hokage-wisdom at the age of seven thy name!_

Whilst thinking is seldom discovered by his wankers' minds, it's still prudent of me to ask: if Itachi's a hero for doing what he did, why's Danzō not a hero for orchestrating the path to hero-dom for this pud? After all, Itachi would've never become a hero his wankers know, fuck (every passing moment in their heads—_he's so booti-fool and so tu-wa-gic!_), and love had Danzō not made sure that he reached his "True-est" potential. Why does this freshly wreathed, wankers' jism streaked crown only belong on Solo-King's head? Is Danzō not deserving of it? Why, 'course not! He's not _pretty!_ Who'd want to see the lumpy arse and an old arsehole of an old arsehole? (Who'd want to self-insert into Sakura's place to get buggered by that? Only Solo-King can make _yay-bigger!_ their anuses!) They like their psychopaths nice, tight, and young (spring-like his sphincter, nestled rosy and ballooned between the smooth cleft that divides his eighth wonder of the world arse, that their tongues twitch for!). Danzō's bollocks dangle down to his ankles and trail Leaf's grass, for fuck's sake! Does his cock even stand—does he even have a cock or did Leaf's seasons bear down upon it and it fell away? Bloody hell, his hair looks like the loofah bath sponge with which Itachi wipes his arse on Sunday—only on Sundays, of course. No body wants to see that, right?! Right?! We want our bitc—beau's bollocks to exist right between the things that represent him the most: a prick and an arsehole! It's as if he was made to belong there!

Why, just thinking of it all makes his wankers weep whilst they take several toilet breaks (during their retail jobs) to burst wide open into their shivering hands, his name dangling upon their lips in a lover's shame! (_They'd never take him away from me—never! I'll avenge you! Sasuke will pay_—_he'll pay for hurting you! After all that you did for him?! He would be sorry! screamed a bleeding cunt._) Jesus wept—he wept hard—his mother wept, too.

And what about his "_shinobi's endure_" mantra? Why didn't he endure? Why didn't his Leaf endure? Why did he only demand endurance from his kin—from Sasuke? I'm aware that the honeyed taste of Leaf's musky, proverbial cock was how he lived, belched out throw-away loony-tunes script (his philosophy quotes that are enough to compel his wankers to not throw themselves from their terraces in despair), and self-wanked himself to glorification, but it's just silly that an average wanker simply fails to see the complete stupidity behind this nonsense. No, don't dye your hair pink—he won't like it, nor would he call you, "_my tigress!_" Why? He isn't real!

(Everyday, an Itachi wanker strays further from God! What would his mother say? Get your fingers out of that Itachi cosplayer's anus! He's only pretending—_my God!_)

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**To be or not to be the Blow-up Belindas for my, your, everyone's Solo-King, Itachi; that's the question!**

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Now, now, I'm well aware of the perils of loving Solo-King too much. Many a time, fangirls sit inside public toilets, on their knees, banners in hands, "_for my King, a free blow-job; I'm your Queen!, no cultural snob!_" to offer Solo-King imitations that litter comic-con like rubbish inside large-sized waste-containers free services; but, fucking hell, calm yourselves. Itachi isn't going to be Naruto's brother over Sasuke (after beating him up senseless), nor would he call you "_Tigress_", obsess over your disgustingly farm-pig pink locks (tossing out pleas that whether you'd allow him to comb your cheap hairs for you or not), and press his forehead to yours! Did you guys bother to read the manga, at all, or did you only stare at the billowing cloak Itachi wore in hopes of beholding his Sword Totsuka on every fucking panel? I mean, there's _everything_ wrong with that, but let's chalk it down to a hanging-on-the-closet-door-man's coping mechanism, and a lonely and overweight damson in a frumpy dress's last ditch effort to ejaculate from her genitals: get it together, folks—he looks like a chick, for fuck's sake! When he first appeared on the panel, I thought he had a fucking vagina!

Surely, no accident that these Dildo Dans and Prick Priscillas (whom I shall collectively refer to as Fangirls, and you can't stop me!) feature themselves through their cheap simulacrums in their long, stinky, poorly conceived fantasy stories that centre on crushing every anti-Status Quo element any character dared to exhibit, many of which are terrible, terrible, terrible Gender Manuals of lonely and sex-less "insert cartoon Identity marker here"-sexual white feminists (female involuntary celibates, or soccer mums who get very little quality cock); and super-long, insufferable, infantile power fantasies of sex-deprived (mostly) white males (male involuntary celibates) that can't get laid to save their lives. _Surely!_

It's strange how no one ever talks of the aspects of Naruto that simulate real life, like pogroms, genocides, pillaging, slavery, oppression, etc., in the way that it ought to be talked of and condemned, as being unfathomably horrific—when, surely, becoming Uchiha Sasuke or Uzumaki Nagato or Hyūga Neji isn't easy. No, no—why would they do that?! Either their Naruto wears leather boots or they ride Sakura's bicycle, and together they desecrate Solo-King's arsehole through the most romantic anal invasion even Caesar never thought of! Remember, every fucking inch of Solo-King is super sacred, holy, divine! He can do no wrong—they all had it coming! "He's the most beautiful and tragic boy ever—ever ever ever!" When they service a cosplayer's arsehole, they don't brush their teeth, afterwards—bloody hell, no, they fill up the cosplayer's arsehole with copious loops of Colgate toothpaste till it splutters out in long splotches that dangle from his thigh-length bollocks and fall down upon the fungus-infested toilet tiles to imbue it with Solo-King's second-hand divinity: world becomes a better place, one dangling two-dime Itachi-cosplayer's anus-touched Colgate toothpaste at a fucking time! Then, and only then, they're satisfied that Solo-King's anus, which was blasphemed a moment ago, has been cleared of all fucking evil! Remember, "because he was one of the most beautiful and tragic men they'd ever seen (_chapter 42, Kill Your Heroes_)!"

Seriously, why would Itachi beat up Sasuke to please Naruto, or beat up Sasuke with Naruto? Seriously, why? Kindly, look at the previous chapter to stare at the fact that Sasuke's . . . here it comes, Itachi's 'Soul Mate (not a romantic concept at its core—not even close)' and he feels 'True Love!' for him. Not my words! In other fictions, his dainty, fruity chick-looks are better realised and he straight up grows a vagina and leaps and laughs and lands on Naruto's cock—after he, err, she beats the living shit out of Sasuke, of course! In these scenarios, Itachi becomes Ita-betty! She can't get enough of Naruto's cock and every single one of her orifices are wide-open for him (an average Naruto lover) to breach and feel a bit of Solo-King's (pffft, Ita-betty's still a King!) mythical, godly, surreal divinity! She also grows out bulbous balloons on her chest area, enough to work as a floating device for Naruto to cross violent rivers during flood season—and the fact that his combat boots are so fucking cool and ice-cool and rad-cool heavy that, had it not been for her mother-of-God floaters, he'd sink to the bottom like a pile of round rocks (which he is)! Isn't she useful?! Come on! Really? Just come out of the closets, mates, and admit that you like cock—there's nothing wrong with a _little_ cock, right? I like my pornography swimming with cocks—and want Solo-King to fuck your arsehole! Come on! What's with the roundabout way to deny this faggotry? Ita-betty isn't real—she'd never be real! She won't ever let Naruto mount her arsehole; Itachi won't mount your arsehole. Let's be real, lads! There isn't any point in writing these homoerotic, coping Fan-Fictions when you can just admit to being into he-could-be-a-chick-looking men. We should all spread tolerance, equality, and love for cocks! If it's not that, you'd be writing _Sealkeeper_ and thinking of buggering your own mum, common sense, decent political views (by utilising a mythical fourteen-incher). Which is better, huh? Which? Choose wisely, lads. Don't be like him—_don't!_

Then we have the lot that self-insert into Sakura to suckle Hokage wisdom-at-the-age-of-seven, education, Christendom drop-by-drop from his physical effects, laud his Fascist ideology, back his genocide like there's no tomorrow. I've already said a lot on this, but I'll say this: he won't call her a _Tigress_; he won't ever want to comb her chewed-up stuck-to-the-dust-bin bubble-gum hair; he won't exchange with her the most intimate gesture that opens into his ideology of "eternity" with Sasuke—ever! Get over yourselves! (Basically, he won't call a Sakura wanker any of these things, because he isn't real! That Itachi cosplayer only wants to piss in your oral cavity—he's lying!) Itachi only gave one person a nick-name and that's Sasuke; Doctor Snake, remember? There's nothing wrong with an Out-of-Character Itachi that populates this cheaply written muck that reeks of cunt-ish White Imperialism, Jingoism, Manifest Destiny, and everything "White" you can think of; but there's _everything_ wrong with an undercurrent of "idealisation" of his sick, sick, sick political ideology, which many White Feminists adore licking up from his arsehole of hole-y wisdom.

I mean, I get it, you lot adore the characters that abide by status quo at the cost of countless innocent lives (exactly what the white world is doing in the Middle East and Africa—nudge nudge, wink wink, eh? It's almost as if these cunts are reiterating their world-views through their fictional counterparts; also, don't give me this "compartmentalisation" bullshit, because if you froth at the mouth over Itachi's ill-treatment [lol?] at the hands of Sasuke, Uchiha, and Konoha by citing poorly understood real-life scenarios [which very clearly whooshed well-over your heads] and writing lengthy, juvenile, farcical Fan-Fictions to remedy that that centre on healing his poor "hottie" soul and compiling overly long posts to toss unwarranted vitriol at the author in this regard, then you damn well take this shit seriously!); but let's not pretend like this Solo King's scum-suckling routine is anything deep, educational, provocative, and Lord forbid it, progressive! The only thing this lot knows about progressive-ism is its spelling, though I have my doubts. Read fucking Chomsky, Marx, or some other progressive (even Voltaire would do) and get back to me. Stop embarrassing yourselves for "Hobbyist Politics" aren't progressive in any political thought in the history of human ideologies, dogmas, ethos, etc., you unassuming _cunts!_ (I remember reading one reviewer outright calling the content in _Kill Your Heroes_, a badly disguised and badly written and badly structured _White Imperialism_ pile of shit, educational and she was in her fucking thirties [a review posted for chapter 62—when in fear, CTRL plus F to put yourself in the clear]! Where did your parents go wrong, sweetheart? Clearly at the process of conception!)

You know what? Maybe I'm being too harsh. Perhaps this lot should get together and formulate a Solo-King roleplaying videogame in which he switches between cock and cunt at a player's whims! That way, even the lesbians wouldn't feel guilty. Then they'd ask themselves the super-deep questions after reading the "educational" content from _Kill Your Heroes_ and _Sealkeeper_: would Sam and Samantha sweep through playing Itachi Hospital Manager? How would traders do in Ita-betty Eve Online? Come to think of it, do any of these fuckers ever win when they play Itachi Football Manager? Hmm, puzzling questions to be sure that're guaranteed to raise the "Hokage Knowledge" level of these lost souls by one—go and make your parents proud!

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**Genocide: Woke Pacifism!**

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Do Itachi wankers even know what "pacifism" means—does Kishimoto himself know? Sometimes, I feel that he created this character as the most vulgar Satire (Lampoon even) on jingoistic nutters who believe mass-slaughters to be the just course of action to "civilise" the "uncivilised" who don't want to assimilate into their high-ordained and much-civilised fascist domains. The gall of the beastly fuckers! In this case, it's the Uchiha barbarians that littered the "pristine" locale of Leaf that regularly engaged in sticking all sorts of Jutsus and weaponry into the unwary anuses of non-hierarchy-loving losers; never mind their unblemished and chaste philanthropic acts starting with genocides of dissidents, slavery of children for a myriad of fascism-friendly tasks, mass slaughters for pillaging, endorsing human trafficking, terrorism, etc., all which Itachi loved with mad fervour since his cloth-soiling days in the crib and his disease-riddled youth (you can almost smell it off the manga panels that he's full of so much shit); you know how the whole "Manifest Destiny" thing played out world-over, so I don't need to repeat myself, but Leaf is an average White Imperialist's (liberals and conservatives and centrists alike, for whom progressive-ism is as unattainable as common-sense; they, like street whelps, will never grasp its intricacies) wettest, slimiest, stickiest dream—Itachi being his first and one and only, of course! I mean, he's the Solo-King! His fangirl-wankers still write Haikus about his bleached arsehole with rapturous and glorious and victorious fresh forces they muster in great innumerable bands, like summer rats out from gutters for fucking blood! Any congregation of Itachi wankers is an unholy sight—a site that stinks to high heaven!

Pacifism as normal, sane, and people with decent intelligence would know is battle against militarism. That's right, pacifism stands against fascism. There's Absolute Pacifism, as well, but let's not talk of it at the heels of an impassioned butcher—that's a very _hot!_ butcher of ItaSaku OTP's to you, mister, _teehee!_—and his Fan-Fiction nutty allies. The only time pacifists ever talked of the necessity of violence was in the face of violent fascism and oppression and subjugation. They've supported revolution and civil wars (the Spanish Civil War being the most prominent one); the soldiers that followed this doctrine during World Wars outright refused to gun people down. Which lottery in a hell-sow's womb did this lout's wankers win to consider this extreme far-right loony-bin fanatic who was lighting quick to choose oppressors over the oppressed, subjugators over the subjugated, violators over the violated, conquerors over the conquered, victimisers over the victimised, fascists over the resisters . . . a _fucking_ pacifist?

It reminds me of a few historical incidents of the so-called Leftists, which an out and out fascist like Itachi is thought to be (lol?) by his wankers: Louise Michael and Albert Camus. The former was deported to New Caledonia when the native populace rose up, and she, rightfully, in true anarchist spirit, sided with the oppressed. Alas, many fascists masquerading as radical far-left progressives (not unlike the White Feminists and Liberals of today) sided with their fascist colonial brethren against the indigenous people that had had enough of their cruelties. (There's a reason why state-ideology defying characters like Sasuke are so unpopular in the West and uprising-crushing butchers like Itachi receive the exact opposite treatment; that's kind of how these people have rolled through out history—slimy arseholes like the characters they adore.)

Dear ol' Camus, on the other hand, like a true slimy White Imperialist, fully supported the French Government against the Algerian uprising. Showing his true colours when push came to shove, he found the "Pieds-Noirs" too damned "relatable" to ever let go and considered the "how dare they!" oppressed Arabs rising up against White Tyranny as Arab Imperialism and anti-Western (Solo-King lovers, too, find him very much like-able and relate-able and "insert another bullshit prefix"-able, for he suffered as he cut up children for the good of the State and mankind and upheld status-quo and maintained the tyranny that's required for Leaf's fascism whilst he pushed out a well-defined trickle of Sophoclean tragedy-imbued tears that moved his wankers to utmost despair whilst clenching his teeth so severely and savagely and sincerely as though he was passing a week-long held turd out of his system ); either they had to co-exist or they had to die; either you're with us, or you're against us! Oh, how we see the Bushes and the Cheneys and the Powells and the thatchers (and many more, even brown White Imperialism lovers like that _cunt_, Obama) rinsed and repeated through the course of history. They all are exactly the kind of stinky cock-wad Itachi himself is when he's out and about in canon; but his "hot and tragic" motley is what his fangirls throw over him, for _"he's the most booti-fool and ta-wa-gic guy eva!" _How can you not feel sorry for the guy who was nailed to the cross of fascist martyrdom without ever wiping his arse? How can he ever wipe his arse when he was nailed to Leaf's cross?_ Children, never fear, his arsehole lovers are here! For him, they will wipe his arse clean, make it shine and gleam, give it a polished sheen! In lurid details, they shall pen, tales of his bull and of his cock and pink-feathered hen! Then, when his imaginary front would meet the pink-piggy's foetor-brimming cunt, he shall be reborn in a horridly told Gender Manuel too blunt! For you Kill Your Heroes and kill your boys blond that're bums; in your Seal Keepers, you adore bastard children you spawned from your mums!_

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**EN**: The vilification of far-left anti-status-quo ideologies and endorsement of status quo in media, literature, and politics is a well-researched topic. This love for "Solo-King" from very specific individuals doesn't come from nowhere—it's an indicator of far-sinister outlooks towards over-arching politics; after all, people only start abhorring an anti-status-quo character when he doubles down on it and formulates an ideology of his own that stands in direct opposition to the beloved, hierarchical, status-quo ensuring ideology! I wonder, _why?_


End file.
